


Sunshine, Interrupted

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe, Angst, Canon, Drama, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-05-02
Updated: 2005-08-30
Packaged: 2018-12-27 15:23:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12083826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: At 17 Justin has lost all hope following an encounter at school and turns to unhealthy solutions.  He is sent to a place called Anderson House, where he meets Emmett, Ted, Ben, Michael, and of course Brian.  He soon realizes that this place isn't all it says it is, and his one month stay may turn out to be an eternity.  **Loosly Based on Girl, Interrupted**





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

The yellow cab slowly made its way down the tree-lined street on the early March morning. In his mind he kept going over all of the things that he should be doing instead of making his way to this current destination. He should be hanging out with his best friend Daphne, packing up and heading off to his dorm room and planning what they would be doing on the weekends. Instead he was heading off to an uncertain future and his head was filled with thoughts of the last couple of months.

It had been almost a week since the “incident” as his mother liked to call it, and almost a year since his accident. The whole way there she kept trying to grab his hand or touch him in some way. So he just kept scooting toward the window and ignoring her. After all it wasn’t like she was on his side anyway. She was sending him off, instead of being his mother and helping him out, she was taking him to someone else to deal with his problems. He felt an itch on his arm, but as he was scratching he winced. He looked down at his wrist and saw a spot of blood on the bandage. Shit! He thought to himself, I hope I didn’t pop a stitch.

The cab suddenly came to a stop just outside a black iron gate. He looked out the clouded window as the gate opened and the cab drove on. He saw the ominous brick building and shuddered to himself. He knew what was coming, even if he was pretending not to. He followed his mother inside, they strode up the reception desk and an over weight women in a white nurses dress and white hose smiled at him. He gave a grimaced grin as his mother began to speak with her. They motioned for him to follow; he went through the automatic locking gate and followed the nurse and his mother into the glass enclosed office. The two women started talking about him as if he wasn’t in the room. He put his hands in the pockets of his jacket and leaned back his chair.

He heard a loud commotion coming from the area around where he just was and glanced over at the gate he just came through. He saw two men in white uniforms escorting a tall dark brown haired boy into the facility. He was wearing a black button up tank top, a brown leather jacket, black boots, and grungy jeans. Two cops followed him in and removed the handcuffs. One of the orderlies opened the gate and gently shoved him through it. 

“Fuck you Alan.” 

“Ha-ha, you wish Kinney. Let’s go, you know the rules lock down for a week. You should stop pulling this shit because you might never leave your room at this rate.” 

Brian just glared at the orderly and felt a gaze being burned into his neck. He looked over and met with a pair of amazing blue eyes staring back at him. He saw the blonde attached to the eyes blush and look away. 

He felt Alan grab his arm, “Don’t touch me, Alan.” 

“Let’s go Kinney, come on.” Brian couldn’t take his eyes off the cute boy even as the orderly pushed him up the stairs toward his weeklong prison. 

“Justin. JUSTIN!” “Hmmm…what???” 

“Were you listening to a thing that I have been saying??” 

“Not really.” 

“Jesus, Justin. Maybe this is what you need. It will clear you mind a little, give you some time to think.” 

Justin just laughed and his mother put her hand up to her chest in shock. “Right it gives ME time to think. I am here just so you and dad can pretend I went off to college and you can have your little dinner parties. You can ignore that your only son is a faggot and tried to kill himself.” 

With that Justin sat back and didn’t look at the anguish that he had just caused his mother. The nurse and his mother left the room and began talking to a doctor that was just outside the door. Justin sat there and thought back to the moment that had brought him to this place… 

_Justin stood there in front of the mirror in his bathroom. He stared at the lines on his face and the bags under his eyes, all results of the last year. He could hear his parents arguing downstairs in the living room, all the hate filled things that his father was saying caused a silent tear to roll down his cheek. He shut the door to the bathroom that he and his sister shared and turned on the shower to full blast on the hottest setting._

He stripped off all of his clothes and stepped into the shower wincing at the heat of the water. He put his hands on the wall and put his head under the light downpour. With his eyes closed the water began to cascade down his shaggy locks. He pushed the wet hair out of his eyes and sat down in the tub. He picked up the razor blade trying to ignore the shaking in his right hand. 

The news he had received this morning is the reason he is doing this. He remember standing there as the doctor told him that since he wasn’t making progress with the therapy that his motor skills were as healed as they were going to get. He would never draw again the same way he used to. 

That had been his ticket out of this hellhole. He had hoped that he and Daphne could move to New York and start a new life. Now it wasn’t to be, and that killed him more that the hate his father had for him. 

He felt the pain as pressed the cold steel to his skin. Once he finished with his right he did the left and then just lay back. He couldn’t understand why the water was getting cold, he had put in on the highest setting and yet it was changing. He could hear his sister yelling that he was taking to long in the bathroom. 

He just smiled to himself, she always complained about that. Suddenly there was pounding on the door and just as he slipped into unconsciousness he heard his mother’s screams. 

…Justin was brought back to the present by the opening of the door. There stood a tall, bald doctor with glasses and his mother. 

“Sweetie.” Jennifer sat down and placed hand on Justin’s arm and repeated herself. 

“Sweetie, your father and I have discussed it, and we think that it is best if you stay here for awhile.” 

“What do you mean, ‘stay here for awhile’?” 

“Sweetie, you…you…tried to kill yourself. You need some help and we think that this is the best place for that.” 

“No, I want to go home. I just graduated, I am supposed to be going with Daphne to NYU.” 

“Swee-“ 

“STOP IT! Stop fucking calling me that!” 

“Justin calm down.” 

“I AM CALM!” 

“This is the best thing for you, that way your father and I can think of Molly, there are other people in this family. You have to understand that.” 

At this point anger was all that had kept Justin from breaking down. But hearing the words that were coming out of his mother’s mouth had been the final straw. They didn’t want him; he was the queer son that they were keeping hidden away. 

Justin decided to try another tactic. With tears in his eyes and a pain in his chest he grabbed his mother’s hand. 

“Mom, I’m sorry. You can’t do this to me. Please, just let me come home with you. Please. Please mom, don’t leave me here.” 

“Justin, don’t worry you’ll only be here for a couple of weeks I promise you. Just stay here for a month tops and we will bring you home. Can you promise me that?” 

“Only a month? And you’ll come back and get me?” 

“Yes darling I promise you, just one month. It will go by so fast you won’t even notice, it will be like a little vacation.” 

She patted her son on the cheek and turned to walk back outside. The tears were welling in her eyes and she tried hard not to let out a loud sob. The locking gate shut behind her and she heard her son’s voice and it stopped her. Justin ran up the gate and grabbed onto the tiny square gaps in it. 

“MOM! Wait, please! I can’t last a month, I won’t. Mom…MOM!” Justin watched, as his mother didn’t even look back, she just continued on down the path to the waiting cab. 

“Come Justin. Your mother has left your bags here; we need to get you settled. And also let me welcome you to Anderson House.” 

Suddenly all the intensity of the situation hit Justin like a sack full of bricks; she had every intention of leaving him here. She said they were going to talk to the doctor about an outpatient program. Justin turned toward the doctor and the nurse standing beside him and then glanced down at the suitcases and a box of some on his things. An orderly came and started to carry up his things and he reluctantly followed him to an uncertain beginning. 


	2. Sunshine, Interrupted

Justin had finally resigned to the fact that his mother wasn’t coming back anytime soon. So he started to unpack his clothes and put them away into the small chest of drawers that was in his room. The place seemed more like a fraternity house with security measures than a psyche ward. After all that is usually where they sent you after you’ve tried to commit suicide.

He was just putting away the last of his things and noticed a tall boy about his age standing at his doorway. The boy smiled at him and came in and sat down on his bed. 

“Hi! I’m Emmett. Emmett Honeycutt. What’s your name??” 

“Ummm…Justin…Taylor.” 

“Well ummm Justin, it’s nice to meet you.” 

Justin just blushed at Emmett’s joke, and sat down in the chair across from the bed. Emmett just laughed and continued to talk. 

“Sorry about that sweetie, just trying to cheer you up. It’s hard when the parents leave. I know I felt like shit after my aunt left. So which was it, razor or pills?” 

Justin’s head sprung up and looked at Emmett, “oh…ummm…razor.” 

“Should have figured, what with the long sleeve shirt and all.” 

Justin began toying with the sleeves on his shirt as he and Emmett fell into an awkward kind of silence. 

“Don’t worry, you’ll find that some here have tried that. The popular one around here seems to be pills, that’s what it was for me.” 

“Is that why everyone is here? Because they tried to kill themselves?” 

“Partly. You didn’t notice anything while you were walking through the halls? All the guys who were watching and staring, they weren’t just interested because you were new. I mean your gaydar wasn’t pinging off the roof???” 

Justin just stared at Emmett like he was claiming to be Elvis in drag. “Honey we are all born with it. Us gay men, we can smell each other a mile away. That’s why we are all here. Either we are gay and tried to off ourselves, or we are gay and got caught doin’ somethin’ naughty with the pool boy.” 

“You mean-“ 

“Yup. We’re all fags and this is a de-fagging institute.” 

“Holy shit. I figured it was just a psyche ward or something like that.” 

“Nope, we are here to be ‘straightened’ out. That’s the only way to get out of here, well unless you escape. They pretend that the only reason you are here is receive ‘therapy’ for suicidal tendencies. They are after all an accredited medical facility so they can give you electro-shock, sedatives, things like. Plus I suspect they have higher ups paid off so that they aren’t fined or shut down. If you look anywhere you can find someone who hates us enough to look the other way.” 

He sat down next to Justin and put his arm around his shoulder. 

“Don’t worry baby, just stick with me and everything will be all right.” 

************************ 

It had been 5 days since his mother had left Justin at Anderson House. Five days of trying to adjust to regulated sleep time and nightly medicine doses. 

Emmett had explained that the medicine they gave them at night was just a sleeping pill so that they would sleep through the night and not get up and wander thru the halls into the other bedrooms for midnight romps. 

Justin thought it was just plain illegal, but Em was right, it was an accredited hospital with a license to practice all of these things. He had looked it up on the Internet during one of his free periods. It seemed that there wasn’t much they had to do around the place. 

Mostly they worked on the grounds in the garden, they had arts and crafts, sometimes they had poetry and short story reading, and basic crap that had Justin bored to no end. 

It was a rather large place with two floors relegated to patients, one floor set aside for the hospital wing and the treatment facilities, and the bottom floor for reception, patient phones, and meeting rooms for family. In all there were about 20 boys living on the two floors. There were 10 boys living on each floor. 

Justin had already met four of them. Ben, Ted, Michael, and Emmett had seemed to take him into their group. The other boys seemed to keep to themselves and not talk much. 

Ted had told him the other floor contained the ‘high risk’ patients. Boys who were here because their parents had caught them having sex or suspected that they were gay. The floor they were on was reserved for the ones like Justin, the ones who had attempted suicide. 

Many of the guys that had been pointed out to him ranged from about 16 years old to 21 years old. They were all soon pointing out to Justin which of guys were ‘seeing’ each other and which were just friends. Ben and Mikey flat out told Justin that they had been seeing each other for about 4 months now. 

Emmett had had a boyfriend but his parents came and got him about 2 months ago. Now he was seeing one of the orderlies, and kept telling everyone that they were in love. 

Ted didn’t have one, but he had crushes on most of the orderlies and fellow patients. It seemed that everyone either hooked up with someone or they just casually slept together to let out frustrations. 

Of course it was all hush hush, the staff couldn’t catch you or there would be hell to pay. All of this intrigued Justin tremendously. But what caught his attention the most was the one person he hadn’t met, the one they all seemed to not stop talking about, Brian Kinney. 

“He’s been here the longest.” Emmett began, “He was taken away from his parents at age 14 and put into foster care, and 16 he tried to kill himself. So they sent him here, he just turned 18 about 3 weeks ago. Of course they can’t let him out until he is deemed cured of all suicidal tendencies. He’s tried to do it twice, usually after the second time it adds a lifetime to your sentence. They figure once you were just curious, the second and third time you are determined.” 

Justin remembered Brian; he had been the devastatingly handsome boy that had come in when his mother had dropped him off. He had been haunted in his dreams by those amazing hazel eyes all week. He was startled out of his thoughts by Ted’s voice. 

“Maybe on Saturday you’ll get to meet his majesty, that’s when they let him out of solitary.” 

“What did he do?” Emmett shook his head and interrupted Ted. “Fucker escaped. They say third time is the charm. Don’t know how far he got this time, but they caught him. They always do.” 

Before he could hear anything else about the famous Brian, they started calling role for bedtime. Justin swallowed the pill and the water and walked slowly back to his room. He changed and lay down on his bed. As the chemicals worked their way through his bloodstream he felt sleep take over his body. 

The last thing on his mind before he slipped off into the dream world was, I can’t fucking wait until Saturday. 


	3. Sunshine, Interrupted

Justin was roused from his sleep by screaming and yelling sounding through the white hallways. He rolled over in his bed rubbing his eyes and looked at the clock. He sighed and rolled back onto his pillow.

It was almost four in the morning and he was wide-awake. He looked over at Emmett’s bed and noticed it was empty. He threw off the covers and made his way to the door of their room. He saw Emmett standing up against the wall in the hallway watching the commotion. 

“What’s going on Em?” 

“Oh, new patient. I guess they brought in him earlier, he is freaking out. Apparently his parent’s dropped him off and he really doesn’t want to be here.” 

“Who does?” 

Emmett smiled at him and nodded before looking back the boy who was now being dragged into his new room. Justin just cringed at the sight; he never imagined he would be here today. Standing in a mental hospital, wondering when he would ever see anything other than these walls in the next couple of months. He was brought out of his intense thoughts by Em’s voice. 

“Come on, we better try and get at least 2 more hours of sleep before they wake us up. Besides today is going to be a busy day.” 

“Why’s that?” 

“Well Brian is being sprung and Michael and I want to throw him a party.” 

“Will they let us throw a party here? I would think they would frown upon that sort of thing.” 

“Well baby, if I’ve learned anything while being here it’s that you can get pretty much anything you want for the right price and the right blowjob.” Emmett left Justin and shocked expression in the hallway and bounded back into their room and climbed into bed, determined to get a little more sleep. 

*************************************

Justin woke to the feeling of heat on his face. He turned over and opened his eyes, squinting immediately when he noticed the blinds were wide open. He glanced at the clock on the bedside table and sighed. He would have his first session with Dr. Witco today, he prayed to whatever god actually listened to him that he didn’t have to talk about why he attempted suicide. 

He crawled out of bed and slowly got dressed. He made his way out of his room to go and get breakfast; as he entered the small eating area he heard a lot of laughing and cheering coming from the usual table he sat at. 

He walked over to his new friends, “Hey guys, what’s going on?” 

“Ooooooo, baby your up, FINALLY!!! You get to meet Brian…” 

Justin lost the rest of Emmett’s sentence in the intense hazel eyes bearing into this soul. He was brought out of it when he heard Brian speaking. 

“I heard we had a newby, plus these guys won’t shut about you. Not that that’s a bad thing. Welcome.” 

Justin blushed, “Thanks.” 

The whole table tried to ignore the intense look that both boys were giving each other. 

“So Justin have a seat.” Justin sighed and looked to the spot where Michael was pointing to. He sat down and just listened in on the conversation taking place. He really didn’t participate; he couldn’t keep the feeling in his gut from taking over his whole body when he tried to. He could tell it would be hard to stay away from Brian for a whole month. 

*************************************

After breakfast Justin bid farewell to the guys and made his way to his first session. He was nervous. He’d only been to a therapist once, and that was when his mother found out he was gay. He ended up giving a long speech about liking dick; even though he’d never tasted it before. 

He smiled at the receptionist and she motioned for him to go in. He entered the oddly shaped room and looked around. There were several degrees hanging on the wall and tons of psychology and medical journals on the shelves. He walked over to the enormous windows and glanced out at the grounds; how he longed to be outside the fence of the facility and be free. 

He was jolted out of his thoughts by the door opening and Dr. Witco coming in, “Good Morning Justin, how are you today?” 

“Good I guess, I’m feeling a little…trapped.” 

“Well you’ve only been here for a week, but don’t worry you’ll get used to it.” He motioned for Justin to sit down on the plush leather chaise near the window. 

This situation fit every cliché he had ever heard about a therapist’s office. He was going to lie on this couch and talk about how his parents fucked up his life and how he blamed his mother for it all. 

“So Justin, let’s start out bluntly, why did you try to kill yourself?” 

“I was bored.” 

Dr. Witco sighed but continued, “Well if you were bored don’t you think that you could have watched a movie or read a book? I mean suicide is sort of final.” 

“Nah, those things wouldn’t make it stop, but this would have.” 

“Make what stop?” 

“The memories.” 

“What memories?” 

Justin snorted a laugh, “Do you always answer a question with another question?” 

“What memories Justin?” 

Justin just balled up his hands into fists, and then went back to rubbing them over the leather on the chair. He just sat there quietly, he really didn’t want to be talking about this, after what seemed like minutes the doctor asked him some more questions. 

“Does this have to do with what happened at your prom?” 

‘Shit.’ Justin thought, 'he should have known that would be in his file'. They must have talked to his mother before she left him here. He saw flashes in front of his eyes; he shut them tight and willed the things he began to remember to stay hidden away… 

_”My drink tastes a little funny. Is that weird?????”_

Justin sipped more of the drink, despite the fact that he really hadn’t drunk much alcohol in his lifetime. 

“Don’t worry about it, it’s just a rum and coke. It always tastes weird. Come on let’s go say hi to the guys.” 

Justin cringed at the thought; he hated hanging out with his boyfriend’s friends. They were mean and just plain assholes. 

“Hey dude what’s up????” 

“Not much Chris just enjoying the party, wasn’t prom wicked????” 

“Yeah! I still can’t fucking believed that you danced with Justin in front of the whole fucking school.” 

“I know, wasn’t it perfect??” 

“Yeah…I guess. Speaking of which where did he head off too???” 

“He didn’t really want to come and say hi. He’s being a little anti-social.” 

“Well we’re still on for tonight, right??” 

The two men glanced down from the balcony to see Justin stumbling over his own two feet. 

“Don’t worry Chris, he’ll be out like a light.” 

...“Justin, can you answer the question?” Justin was abruptly brought back to the present. “No it’s not what happened at my prom, but what happened afterward.” 

“Can you tell me what that is?” 

He contemplated what his answer was going to be. Truth be told, he didn’t really remember what happened. That part of his life was gauged in sections, there was before prom and after prom, there was no in between. He took a deep breath and looked Dr. Witco right in the eye and answered, “I don’t remember.” 

Dr. Witco looked at Justin, before looking at the clock on his desk. “Look Justin I realize this was a short session but I think we should stop for today. I can see that this isn’t a subject you want to discuss, but it seems to have importance and may be a reason that led to your suicide attempt. I’ve seen patients respond wonderfully to hypnosis, especially if they are having trouble remembering things. Would you be willing to try something like that?” 

“I don’t…know…um…can I think about it?” 

“Sure, that’s not a problem. We will have to have several more sessions anyway before we can do that. But just keep it in the back of your mind as an option.” 

He stood up and Justin followed him to the door he came in through earlier. 

“Well Justin I guess I will see you in two days, same time. Have a good night.” He quickly ushered him out the door and shut it behind him. Justin stood there for a while and thought about what had happened in that room. 

Was he beginning to remember what happened? Or did he just imagine that that he saw his boyfriend and Chris Hobbs looking at him weird that night? He tried to shake the thoughts away as he made his way back to the common room. 


	4. Sunshine, Interrupted

Justin sat in his and Emmett’s darkened room. He didn’t want to turn on the light, hell he didn’t even want to move. He just stayed there with his knees pulled up to his chest and his arms wrapped around them.

He knew that they all wanted him to go to the party that they had planned for Brian, but he knew that the whole gang would be there and he really didn’t want to be around people at the moment. He was beginning to feel exactly the way he felt right after he woke up from his coma. Every time someone came up to him today he recoiled into himself, he couldn’t stand the thought of someone touching him. 

Suddenly the door burst open and Emmett came flying in, “Hey there Justin, you almost ready? We are going to sneak downstairs to the basement in about 15 minutes, that’s where the party is gonna be.” 

“I don’t think I am going to go, I don’t really feel good.” 

“What? You have to go, everyone is really excited about it; and I know for a fact that Brian is really eager to have you there. He kept asking Michael questions about you all day!” 

“He did?” Justin was almost bursting at the seams; he couldn’t believe Brian had been asking about him. 

“Yeah he was, and that is a little weird for his majesty to be doing, he usually only cares about himself.” 

Emmett reached out and began to place his hand on Justin’s. 

“Don’t!” Justin flinched and pulled his hand back from Emmett’s reach. “Just leave me alone, I don’t want to fucking go, OKAY!?!?!” 

Emmett just stared at the bright blonde boy; he couldn’t understand why he was acting this way. Just a couple of days ago he was fun and open and laughing and touching everyone. Now it seemed he couldn’t even bear the thought of someone touching him. 

“Alright, that’s fine. You can stay here, I’ll just tell the boys that you have a headache and aren’t coming okay?” 

Justin just nodded his head and stared at the wall, the whole time he was picking at the bandage on his wrists. He heard the door quietly shut and he suddenly found himself alone with his thoughts. 

**************************** 

Michael saw Emmett stealthily approaching them in the darkness alone and whispered quietly when he got closer, “Hey where’s Justin?” 

“He’s not coming.” 

“What? Why not?” 

“He’s got a headache.” 

“But he was so excited about it this morning.” 

“What can I say Michael, I can’t force him to come, something’s just not right with him tonight.” 

As the two exchanged whispers with each other no one noticed Brian walking toward Justin and Emmett’s room. 

**************************** 

Brian slowly opened the door and found Justin sitting in the same position he assumed Emmett had left the boy earlier. He walked in and cleared his throat. Justin looked up at him and then back at the wall. 

Brian noticed a small spot of blood on the boy’s bandage and walked over to the bed and sat down next to him. 

“Justin you’re bleeding, stop doing that you’ll rip out the stitches.” 

Justin glanced down at his wrist, “Shit.” 

He got up and went to the bathroom as Brian followed him. As he pulled off his bandage more blood began to form on his wrist. He stiffened in pain as Brian gently placed a towel over the wound. 

“Sorry.” 

“That’s okay. Thanks.” 

“Come on, why don’t you sit on the bed. I’ll get some bandages and we’ll fix this right up.” 

Justin placed his hand on top of Brian’s to hold down the towel. They glanced awkwardly at each other before Brian moved out of the bathroom door for Justin to pass. Brian came over and sat down next to Justin, he pretended not to notice that Justin scooted over just a bit. Justin pulled back his hand when Brian reached for it. 

“I know it’s going to hurt a little bit Justin, but I’ll try and be gentle.” 

“Promise?” 

“Yeah, I promise.” 

As he was wrapping up Justin’s injured wrist Brian decided to strike up a conversation with the new patient. He was eager to learn all there was to know about this young boy. 

“You know if you hold up in your room like this all of the time they might start to think that you really are crazy.” 

He gave Justin his patented tongue-in-cheek smirk before continuing, “I mean you seemed so out going this morning at breakfast, what happened?” 

“Nothing…I just had my first session today…I guess I’ve been remembering things that have happened to me. They’ve kinda freaked me out.” 

“What kind of things?” 

Brian looked up into Justin’s shocked expression, “Sorry, too personal?” 

Justin just laughed, “Yeah a little, but don’t worry maybe someday I’ll tell ya.” 

“Can’t wait.” 

They both paused and looked at each other. Justin felt himself relaxing considerably since he came back to his room. He couldn’t really gauge why but he felt very comfortable in Brian’s presence. Brian found himself lost in the deep blues staring back at him. For all the time he had been here he had never felt so safe as he did at this moment. 

He saw something in Justin, and it wasn’t just a potential friend. It was something else and that scared him more that anything he had faced in his short but tumultuous life. 

Brian brought himself out of his thoughts with a shake of his head, “There, all fixed.” He taped up the bandage and got up to put away the supplies in the cabinet. 

“So why aren’t you coming to my welcome home party? I promise not bite, too hard, unless you ask me.” 

Justin gave him a small brief smile; “I don’t feel very social right now.” 

“Look if it’s because you feel weird that you tried to off yourself, don’t worry. Everyone here has tried it, you aren’t alone in that.” 

“It’s not that…it’s just…its kind of personal.” 

“Justin I don’t know what happened to you before you came here, hell I barely know you at all. But I do know that I would like to change that. I want to get to know you, I really do. Despite what you’ve heard from Emmett and probably everyone here, I do care. So just come with me tonight, you don’t have to participate. You can just watch and I’ll make sure that the guys keep their distance; you don’t even have to talk to anyone. Just be there, for me.” 

Justin just sat and contemplated Brian’s offer. He wanted nothing more than to follow Brian to the ends of the earth. So after thinking for several seconds he thought that if he was going to follow Brian that far, he might as well start small. 

“Okay sure, I’ll go. Just keep them at bay alright?” 

“Sure, I promised didn’t I?” 

They smiled at each other and Brian put out his hand. Justin thought for just a split second and then intertwined his fingers in Brian’s. Brian looked out to check and see if the coast was clear and the two ventured out into the hallway. They stealthily made their way into Mikey and Ted’s room. 

“It’s about fucking time where the hell were you? One minute your standing there with us and the next your gone.” 

“Calm down Mikey, you guys were worried about Justin so I went and got him.” 

Michael and the others smiled at Justin, “Good I’m glad you decided to come. Let’s go before it gets any later. We have to go all the way to the basement." 


	5. Sunshine, Interrupted

Ten minutes and two close calls later the six teenagers found themselves standing in the dimly lit basement of Anderson House.

Ted, Michael, Ben, and Emmett made their way over to a table that had been set up with some left over deserts from the cafeteria and a six pack of beer. 

Justin glanced around the basement at the avocado green walls, and light birch wood flooring. There were little windows at the top of the ceiling like any other basement; except these had bars on the outside. It wasn't furnished too much, just some chairs and an equally hideous couch that had some of the ugly green color in it along with some shades of blue and brown. 

What caught his eye the most, and mystified him was the bowling lane that was in the middle of it. There they were in the middle of nowhere in a brick building's basement staring at a bowling lane. 

Brian led him over to the couch and they sat down together, with Justin up against the arm of it. Mikey brought over a beer and handed it to Brian, "Oh score Mikey! How'd you pull this off?" 

"Thank Em for that." 

They both looked over at Emmett who was unwrapping a small cake. 

"Well when the love of your life works here, the perks can be quite rewarding!" 

The whole group collectively laughed and they soon settled down to talking and hanging out. Ted and Ben got up and started bowling and laughing with each other, before Ben came over and stole Michael away to join them. That left Emmett, Brian, and Justin alone to talk and laugh occasionally at the others when they got gutter balls. 

Justin spoke first, "So can I ask the obvious question?" 

Brian just smiled, "Why is there a miniature bowling alley in the basement of a nut ward?" 

Justin blushed slightly, "Heh, yeah." 

Em decided to answer this question, "Well according to Rob the orderly this place used to be a hotel back in the sixties. I guess they had a pool, spa, and other amenities, why not a bowling alley. Whatever the reason it keeps us occupied when we get bored." 

Emmett watched Brian and Justin together and noticed that they hadn't let go of each other's hands since they got down here. He also noticed the way Brian kept making quick glances in his direction when he thought no one was looking. 

Emmett was laughing at Ted and Michael's jokes so Brian leaned into Justin's ear and whispered, "Having fun yet?" 

"Yeah actually I am, thanks for talking me into coming." 

"Sure thing." The two of them just looked into each other's eyes and smiled wide genuine smiles that neither had produced since being locked up in this not so happy house. 

Michael came running up red faced and extremely happy. "Come on Bri, you have to bowl one set! You can't just sit over here hogging Justin from all of us!" 

"It's fine Mikey. Besides I like watching, and we're having fun picking on you anyway." 

"Ha ha, very funny Brian. Just do it once, please, you know you'll like it..." 

Justin felt his face go cold, and knew that it had probably lost all color. He suddenly felt himself travel back in time and a flood of images entered his mind... 

_"You know you'll like it...I promise..."_

Justin was laying in an unfamiliar bed, with an unfamiliar body on top of him. He opened his eyes but everything was blurry, he tried shaking his head to clear it and regretted the action almost immediately. He felt the whole world flip over twice and spin on it's axis. 

He felt a hot breath on his face and opened his eyes again, this time he saw two very unfamiliar dark brown eyes staring back at his own blue ones. Panic began to set in and he tried to push the body off, but it was way to heavy. 

"Get off!" 

"You're so hot when you're pissed; plus I like it when my tricks struggle." 

"I said GET OFF!" 

Justin screamed really loud at his attacker and pushed and kicked with all the strength he still had left over. He heard a moan coming from the bed as he made it to the door. 

Everything happened so quickly he didn't even register how he had made it to the hallway before slumping into his boyfriend's arms. 

"Oh thank god babe! Someone had me in one of the bedrooms, I think they drugged my drink." 

"Don't worry, I'll protect you. Come on." 

Justin was confused, but whatever drugs were still in his system prevented him from fighting against being led back into the same room. 

"You asshole! You kicked me in the fucking balls!" 

"Calm down Chris! You freaked him out, god knows how much of that GHB you used." 

Justin found himself back on the bed, he hadn't realized just how comfortable these sheets were. He could barely make out the muffled voices in the room, but he knew who they belonged to, there was no doubt in his mind. 

They belonged to Chris Hobbs, and Justin's boyfriend Ethan Gold. He didn't k now what they were arguing about, but the next thing he knew Ethan was next to him on the bed and they were kissing. 

He knew a fight between them was going to ensue as soon as Ethan decided to go further. Justin wasn't ready and Ethan hated that, but he claimed to love Justin more. 

The last thing he remembered before passing out was the feel of his pants being taken off. 

The next morning the first thing that Justin registered was the pain. It was his head that hurt the most, it felt as though it was collapsing in on itself and threatening to explode all at the same time. 

He tried to open his eyes several times, but the light streaming in through the windows was preventing him from keeping them open for too long. For several minutes he tried to will the pain away, but it only subsided to an ache. 

He threw off the covers and sat up before noticing that he was naked. He saw his clothes in a pile next to the bed, he grabbed them quickly and ran to the nearest bathroom. 

The previous night was a huge blur to him, all he could recall was Ethan picking him up at his house, dancing at the prom together, and then coming here to an after prom party. He dressed slowly and made his way back out into the bedroom he had come from. He looked at the sheets on the bed and saw a small amount of blood on them; this caused him to feel a sudden sharp pain in his butt. 

He put the two together and began to feel a sudden sickening realization that last night he may have been raped by someone he had loved. As he made his way out to his car tears were pouring down his cheeks and he was having a hard time controlling his emotions. 

He managed to get the key into the ignition and get away from that horrible house. He picked up his phone to call Daphne but it slipped from his hands onto the floor. 

He was so out of it that he reached down to pick it up, and failed to notice that he was swerving into oncoming traffic. 

He heard a loud horn and looked up straight at a truck heading right at him before they impacted. 

The first thing that he noticed was that he was hanging upside down. He felt so stupid that he had dropped his phone, he could only imagine how pissed his mom would be when she saw the state he had returned her car in. There were sirens off in the distance, and getting closer. 

There were sharp pains on the left side of his head, and he couldn't figure out why he was unable to feel the right side of his body. He slipped in and out of consciousness for a few seconds before complete blackness took over... "Justin...hey...Justin! Are you okay?" 

Justin felt cold, but he was covered in sweat. He didn't know what happened, one minute he was laughing at Michael trying to get Brian to bowl and the next he had begun to remember something. He was snapped out of it by Brian's voice being carried through the haze to his ears. 

"Huh?" 

"I asked if you were okay, you look really sick." 

"I think I am going to be." 

Justin bolted up off the couch and into the downstairs hallway. He had remembered seeing a bathroom on their way down the hall, he finally spotted it and ran inside. He barely made it to the toilet before throwing up what he'd had for dinner, which wasn't much. 

He could feel the sting of tears and sweat in his eyes as he dry heaved into the toilet. A hand rubbing up and down his back startled him. His body finally decided it was tired of trying to rid itself of the non-existent contents in his stomach and he collapsed against the wall next to Brian. 

"Bad food?" 

Justin shook his head slowly, "No. Bad Memories." 

"Want to talk about it?" 

"You sound like Witco," Justin stared into Brian's ever changing hazel eyes and saw genuine concern in them. 

So with little courage in his voice he began to talk about that fateful morning one year ago when his whole life changed with two very different but significant chain of events. 


	6. Sunshine, Interrupted

"I went to my senior prom with my ex, Ethan. We even danced to a song together; I thought everyone at my school was going to pass out when we stepped out onto the dance floor during one of the slow songs. It wasn't anything magical or memorable, it was just my way of saying fuck you and farewell to all the assholes that were there."

Justin paused remembering before he continued, "Um anyway, afterwards we decided to go to this party, well actually he decided that we were going to go, but I thought what the hell, why not. I really hated Ethan's friends, for some reason they could accept him being gay, but they still hated me. Up until tonight the last thing I remembered about it was arriving at the party, and then being in my mom's car after I had crashed it. The rest of it was just this black hole of nothingness." 

Justin took a deep, but shaky breath. Brian had turned to watch him and had placed a reassuring hand on his leg and was squeezing it every now and then offering silent comfort to the nervous blonde. 

"You can stop you know, if this is to hard." 

"No! No, it's okay I need to get this out, and there is no one else I'd rather tell it to than you. I certainly don't want to talk about it with Dr. Witco, god knows what he would say." 

"Something along the lines of, 'Right, right. Mhhm, mhhm, mhhm.'" Brian made a perfect impersonation of the in house shrink and the two laughed together for a couple of minutes. 

"So um we were there and Ethan went off to get me a drink and then off to see his friends. I remember I saw him talking to my biggest enemy, and his closest friend, Chris Hobbs talking on one of the balconies. I just figured they discussing prom and stuff like that. My drink tasted funny, but Ethan told me that it was just a rum and coke; I'd never had one before so I figured that it was supposed to taste like that. I felt sick so I went inside and sat down on a couch, I guess I'd passed out because I'd woken up in a bed with Chris on top of me." 

Justin's voice faltered at the end of his sentence and he felt a tear slip out and slide down his cheek. His cheeks burned with embarrassment, and he tried to turn away but Brian's thumb wiping the tear away stopped him. 

"Hey don't be ashamed for crying this has to be hard for you, I think I see where this night might be going anyway." 

"Yeah I think most people would, I mean I've seen countless Lifetime movies about it, but it never registered in my naive mind that this could actually be happening to me. So there I was with Chris on top of me, I was able to knee him hard in the balls and make out into the hallway where I ran into Ethan. I told him what had happened and I remember that his face didn't even falter, he just led me right back into the room. I heard the two of them arguing and then Ethan was there kissing me. Then he started to take off my clothes and the two of them took turns forcing themselves on me. I woke up naked and there was blood on the sheets, so I know that they weren't gentle or anything. So I got in my mom's car and started to drive home, I called my best friend Daphne to tell her what had happened and I just broke down crying. I dropped the phone and went to pick it up and I had swerved into the other lane and collided with a truck. One week later I woke up the hospital with damage to part of my brain and limited use of the right side of my body." 

"Jesus Justin. No wonder-” Brian stopped himself from continuing his sentence, he didn't want to make him feel worse that he already did. 

"I tried to kill myself. Yeah that was my reaction too." 

The two looked at each other for several seconds taking in noses and eyes and lips. Brian couldn't help but stare at Justin's lips; they were so full and red. 

Brian leaned in ever so slowly closing in on Justin's face. He reached a hand up to caress the soft skin and wipe away remnants of any tears. Justin had never felt so nervous in all his life, he felt like this was the first time he had ever kissed anyone. Which wasn't even close to the truth, he kissed Ethan all of the time. But he wasn't thinking about his ex right now, he was thinking about how much he really liked Brian. He liked the mysterious air that surrounded him, the way his hair looked like it took no effort to style but still managed to look perfect; the way he exuded confidence and the way his hazel eyes took in the surroundings. 

Their lips came together in a platonic kiss that lasted only seconds. They pulled apart and smiled at each other before going back in for another one. This time it was more heated; they both kissed each other with so much pent up passion. Brian was going to slip his tongue into Justin's mouth when he felt him pull away. 

"What's wrong?" 

Justin saw genuine concern in Brian's features. "Nothing, I just um I don't think I'm ready for this just yet. It still been a year and I sometimes have a hard time when people try to touch me, you know?" 

"Hey don't worry, we'll take this slow. I mean if that's what you want. It's just that I really like you, a lot." 

"Me too. I've liked you since the moment I first saw you the corridor that day. I have to confess that the whole week you were away, I thought about you a lot." 

Justin stopped, realizing what had just flown out of his mouth. "Oh god, I can't believe that I just said those words out loud." 

Brian smiled at the blushing blonde, "It's okay, I have a confession to make as well. I thought about you too. When I wasn't reading the books they brought me I was thinking about this striking blonde guy that I'd seen in the hallway talking to one of the doctors. It was your eyes, they just had this amazing look in them, they had me transfixed." 

"God Brian, you don't say much, but when you do, they're all the right words." 

"I hate to cut this short, but we better get going, the boys are probably wondering where we've gotten to." 

Brian hoisted himself up and then put a hand and pulled Justin up flush to his body. They looked at each other again, it was something they were doing more and more of lately; then leaned in for a long kiss. Both pulled part at the same time and made their way back down the hall where the others were. 

************************* 

"What happened are you okay Justin?" Ben asked as soon as they stepped foot back inside. 

"I'm fine, just a little nausea, it might have been from dinner. Thanks though." 

Michael broke the silence first, "Well we better get back, it's getting really late and they are going to be doing rounds again soon." The six boys followed the same route they took down; they were taking the last stairwell up to their floor when they heard two orderlies coming toward them. 

"Shit! It's two from the morning shift, they came early!" 

Mikey had informed the group in a loud whisper, "Come one we can make it if we hurry." They others followed Michael up the stairs and into one of the spare bedrooms. 

Justin was on the top stair when his foot slipped and he fell onto his knees on the hard linoleum floor. Brian felt his hand being tugged downward and cursed inwardly as Justin fell. He knew they were as good as caught until he looked over and saw that the wall curved just enough for them to hide behind and not be seen. He gently pulled Justin up and they both squeezed as close to the wall as possible. 

They were squeezed together chest-to-chest and exchanging heated breaths. The hot breath on Brian's neck was turning him on greatly, and he willed his hard on to go down. Justin noticed something hard poking his leg and looked up at Brian and smirked. Feeling how hard Brian was, made his own cock to grow and saw that Brian noticed it to by the matching smirk he wore as well. 

Brian began to slowly rub himself against Justin's leg; he leaned into Justin's ear and whispered, "Are you okay with this?" 

In a shaky breath Justin replied, "Uh huh." They were both startled by a hand on Brian's shoulder. 

"Jesus! Michael! Give me a fucking heart attack!" 

"Well we thought you'd gotten caught, little did we know you and Justin were rubbing up against each other in the hallway!" 

Emmett trotted over, "Shhh! Do you want them to come back!?!" 

Justin was blushing badly from having been caught; his mind was going a mile a minute. Downstairs he wouldn't even french with Brian and now they were rubbing up against each other. His emotions were all over the place and he was having a hard time sorting them out. 

"Let's just get back to our rooms, okay?" Ever the voice of reason, Ben just looked at them all and followed Ted and Emmett down the hall back to their designated room. Michael soon followed and Brian and Justin were left alone once again. 

"God, I'm everywhere right now. Downstairs, I was afraid to kiss you, and now we're all over each other practically and I feel nothing but content and safe." 

"Well downstairs we were having a pretty in depth conversation about some pretty horrible memories. Now we are in a hallway, with the possibility of getting caught; it kind of throws caution to the wind, as they say." 

"Yeah I guess so." Brian kissed him on the cheek and grabbed his hand. 

"Come on, we'd better get back." The two walked hand in hand back to their rooms before parting ways. 

"Later Justin." 

"Later." 

Justin opened the door to his room and went inside, he didn't close it until he saw Brian walk safely into his own room as well. 

He quickly undressed and put on the clothes he normally slept in, and slipped under the cool covers. His mind was racing with excitement. So much had happened in one night. He'd remembered what had happened before his accident, he'd made some new friends, and he'd kissed Brian. 

Even though remembering was supposed to be this huge monumentus event it was overshadowed by the fact that he and Brian had kissed and practically made out on the bathroom floor. 

Shortly before four in the morning he brain finally slowed down and he slipped into a peaceful sleep, complete with visions of bowling and bathroom kisses. 


End file.
